It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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