i already hear my dad disowning me
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
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