I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
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It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
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Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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