Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize