she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize