You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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