please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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