So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
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Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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