Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize