Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
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Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize