They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
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It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
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But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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