DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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