Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize