Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize