You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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