I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize