just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
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judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
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I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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