I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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