In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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