But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
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I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
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he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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