i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
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I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
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I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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