FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
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we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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