4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
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ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
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A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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