guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize