I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
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I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
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There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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