ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize