You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
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you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize