Don't make out with my wife yet
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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