We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize