the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize