I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize