I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
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