i just wanna soil my oats bro
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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