exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
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both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
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This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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