Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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