im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
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repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
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the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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