who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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