I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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