HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize