and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
do herpes really smell.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
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Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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