i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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