every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize