It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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