mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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