so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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