It's Friday. Sex?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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