this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize