I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
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You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
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Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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