So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
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Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
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Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize