You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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